Courage Is Stronger Than The Fear

Have you ever had the complete guts to put your self out there and go for something? As in soccer, or dance. You go for it, you have all the courage in the world then when you get the results that’s the nerving part.

With this whole trying to get pregnant with miscarriage situation is like a roller coaster. High highs and really low lows. One minute you’re on top of the world proud that you went for it and know you knocked it out of the park and the next your heart is broken to pieces.

This blog post might be helpful for those going through something similar and to know you’re not alone. Also helpful to those that haven’t to understand it a little more. Information of what the warning signs are of a miscarriage early or farther along.

Before I get into the warning signs, I’ll share what has happened first hand and multiple different ways.

First time this ever happened was back in 2013. Never got a pregnancy test that was positive. However was 3.5 weeks late. Had every symptom of being pregnant ( metal taste in mouth, swollen chest, missed period, bubble feeling in stomach) and all of a sudden on a day my husband was at work there I was doubled over in pain. Not able to move and passing massive amounts of blood and clots. Went to my OBGYN and she confirmed it that it was in-fact an early miscarriage and just to keep trying.

Fast forward to this year. March 30 went in and had a colposcopy done. One of the most painful and traumatizing experiences. They found precancerous cells and removed them.

After healing from that we have been trying since and since Last June again.

This June we had a positive test. We were so excited. I remember that morning we saw it first smiling. Put our foreheads together and just hugged for 2-3 minuets feeling so happy. We were waiting a few weeks then would go into see the dr. To confirm and check in.

On a Friday night we went out on a date. I was having some mild pain that day but nothing crazy. We go to dinner and I keep having these weird tightening pains. My stomach would get really hard then it would go away. Recurring every 30 min. Then the times just kept getting closer. We were going to go to a movie but instead I went to bed not feeling well. In the morning we woke up and I told my husband I wanted to go get some Tylenol because maybe that might help the pain. It was every 10 min at this point. When we got to the store I told him to go in because I couldn’t control my legs. The pain was radiating down my legs and up my back. The pain was now a level 10 and less than 5 min apart. I was in the target parking lot in the car doubled over in pain screaming so loud. My husband got back to the car and I was crying and screaming. Of course he was scared and as was I. We went home called the on call obgyn nurse and she said I was experiencing a miscarriage. 1st loss this year.

Now onto the next one, second loss this year was early August. (The dr told us to wait a month in between so we did) This time no positive test. But same thing again except this time was at work. Had to cancel the rest of the day and drive home 3 hours to rush to see the dr. (This was so challenging and terrifying because my husband is at work and he was in meetings) (also driving in this pain and trying not to cry) This time I passed a sack of something that was pinkish Gray. Once I got to the Dr. they confirmed it again and ordered an ultrasound.

He and I went back for our ultrasound and they said that everything looks normal now. And to just keep trying. I had to ask my Dr how many losses we have to go through before something is figured out. Obviously it’s not sticking.

This time my husband and I were even more broken than before. Those that have had this happen understand. Those that haven’t I would never wish this on anyone. The grieving you go through is so challenging and painful.

If you have cramping and contractions and radiating pain followed with severe bleeding the best thing to do is call the dr and have someone with you. Someone who loves you.

They may not be able to do much but to have that comfort and support helps you to feel not alone.

If you have clotting or pass something call the on call dr.

You will have an irregular cycle for months after. With severe bleeding. It can take a full 2-3 weeks before your body is recovered from a miscarriage and a few months till your cycles are recovered.

We have been referred to fertility and have our first fertility consultation this week. Stay tuned for more.

Stay classy and know you’re not alone

A.Flora

Ps thank you for following our journey. I hope this is helping at least 1 person 💗

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