One of the biggest challenges is moving on. One of the biggest challenges is greifing…
This whole experience alone is a lot. Not to mention the recent results and how do you move on or forward from something so devastating?
Knowing what has happened with the genetic results we are working towards more answers to see what our options are. They are currently testing my husbands chromosomes to see if he’s genetically a carrier of a double chromosome. Those results take weeks to get. In the meantime the dr has prepared us to think about IVF. Looking through the risks and all the pros and cons. As well as researching on our own for any new found research etc. If you’d like to know more about this I am happy to discuss off blog about it.
One of the biggest things during this loss has been the thoughts that occur. “I just want the world to see her” “I just want to hold her” “I wonder what she would have looked like” “will I forget her” “Do I talk about her? People might feel uncomfortable ” “Do I come off as a weirdo for this blog?” “Do people understand why I am continually sharing my blog?”
This list of thoughts go on and on. We have received very thoughtful gifts from friends and family during this loss and one of which hit our hearts hard. A family member of ours dedicated a star in honor of Laila. See the images below.
When we received this we were speechless. I remember opening my email like every day and just had named her the night before. Opened my inbox and saw “Laila Flora” in the subject line. My heart sank at first. I opened the email and it was from my sister in laws sister and husband.
Inside was a very kind message followed with the attachment of the star. I immediately called my husband and had him look and we both busted out into tears. We both took a few minutes away from the what we were doing and just sobbed. This was such a thoughtful and unique gift. A way for us to feel like she’s here. We immediately thanked them so much for this very thoughtful gift.
To this day this is printed out and placed in a box that we had made for Laila along with her sonogram. And important items that remind us of her love even if it was short lived. This gift has been so sacred to us. We have cherished and truly feel this is our way to know she’s above us. Knowing even more so why we named her Laila. An angel in the sky.
We are working on healing and healing through energy. This gift felt like such a healing energy gift. Thank you Lori and Niall.
Another way we have been healing is working on our energies and clearing the energy and creating a healing barrier with energy workshops, meditation and energy of light. Essential oils and a few stones have been very helpful as well. Taking the time to truly heal. Knowing that you owe no one an explanation of your pain during your time of grief.
What’s been helping is reading and writing. Reading and writing. Journaling out positive things as well. Giving yourself credit and love. Honor yourself and give yourself the love you deserve. One thing I have learned during this is to make sure you love yourself first. Because this happened to me and my body. With out self love your healing can take longer and be challenging.
Thank you to those that continue to read and support. Thank you to those that have been there for us during this time.
– A Flora
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