Mother’s Day a Phrase That Caused Wounds.

Happy Mother’s Day. A term I loved growing up. Until many days of losses and unexplained loss. Never thought I’d be on this side of it. After at age 19 being told I may never be able to have kids to having 4 losses (miscarriages) this phrase made me bitter.

Today- I’m 39 weeks pregnant. A mom to be after 8 years of trying. 4 miscarriages, and 3 iuis. Multiple tests, shots, hormones and more. When looking at how many times I would cry in silence over just wishing someone would wish me happy Mother’s Day. Today those messages have been flooding in.

However look at resources online.

However most mom to be are celebrating while pregnant.
So can’t celebrate the first one yet can get a gift. Hmmm
Reach our to your friends with loss. They are mothers too.

With all that being said today’s bittersweet. It’s one of those things where I have yearned for this and it’s here and I’m so happy yet sad. It’s a moment of remembering and moving on and seeing the new bright shiny new. my heart goes out to all the mommies out there today!

Today we celebrated. You do you and what makes you feel good. We cleaned out the car and loaded the car seat and baby bag and mirror. We relaxed on the couch. We grilled and ate lunch outside picnic style.

It’s been a wonderful day. As we sit and anticipate baby’s arrival it’s a tad uncomfortable. However it’s been a dream getting this far. When people say they bet I’m ready. Yes I am however I am not rushing. We have wanted this for so long just embracing each moment. Yes with covid it’s hard. Things are challenging. We can’t go to my drs appointments together. I have to go alone. I have to wear masks the whole time. And yes during labor as of now. My birth plan is in place and is flexible. So if we need to have a c section husband will not be allowed in the room. No visitors are allowed what so ever. This wasn’t the plan. However we are trying to remain positive yet some days are better than others.

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